I woke up this morning on April 3rd, the day before Easter, quite depressed. The weather was stormy and the clouds were the color of “Spokane” gray. I had not been around people for a few days so my energy level was dropping but I was visiting my favorite place on earth, our cabin, in Ione, Washington.

The other day I spent time with a woman whose husband has kidney cancer, her grandson has a brain tumor and she has a neurological condition where she shakes all the time. She is dealing with many circumstances where she has no control. There is no way that she can fix any of her painful heartaches. I asked her how she was doing and she said, “I am at peace, all is well with my soul...” This woman has learned to pray and watch.

I am here sitting in my dining room in Washougal Washington overlooking the Columbia River. If I stand up and look out the window I can see Mt. Hood. Across the river is Troutdale and when the sun goes down I can see the lights flicker across the river. In the back of the house, I look out over a field where hay is grown. Sometimes I see an eagle soar in the sky, sometimes I see deer walk by and sometimes I see our daughter's cat, P.J., marching through the fields announcing with loud meows that she is coming home.

We think about “if” as we make plans for our day. “If I work out, if I eat healthy, if I read a chapter today, if I clean my house.” But what we need to think about is “when.” “When will I work out today? When will I clean the bathroom today? When will I make that difficult phone call today?” “If” gives us an “OPT OUT” button. “When” helps us put it in the schedule and hold to the commitment.

My life has been pretty messy these past several months.

  • Our move to Washougal.
  • Getting our house on the market.
  • Finding a house in Washougal.
  • College tuition, taxes, and three cars broke down in one week.
  • Still dealing with an overwhelming loss of the pastorate and our church family.

The Lord spoke to me through his word a couple of weeks ago.

II Chron. 20:12 - “We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” My interpretation: Amid the mess, keep seeking the Lord.